Category : Relationships

Relationships Success The Way You Feel Your Thoughts

The Lessons I’ve Learnt As A New Dad (So Far)

2016-07-22 19.55.18

You may have missed the announcement…

But on the 18th July at 3:26am my son Teddie was born.

It was an unreal moment, an experience I’ll never forget and one I still find hard to explain today.

It was a crazy 48 hours.

My step son Freddie had his birthday (and house party) on the 17th of July. We had a bouncy castle, a BBQ, school friends and more.

It was a manic but fun day, and people left around 6pm.

An hour later Amy was watching TV upstairs, I was cooking some dinner and then I heard the call.

“My waters have broken”

To cut a long story short, we’d planned for a home birth but had to go into hospital due to lack of midwives on duty.

We arrived around 9pm, everything went well and as mentioned he was born at 3:26am the next day. (We narrowly escaped two birthdays in one day)

But why am I telling you all of this?

I came up with the idea to document the first year of Teddie’s life.

I didn’t want to just share videos of him eating, pooing and sleeping… I wanted to create something meaningful.

First Year Dad is a series of videos that highlight the lessons I’ve learnt from being a Dad.

These lessons will help me, will hopefully help you watching them and I’ll show them to Teddie when he’s older.

Let’s be honest, the first year is one you typically don’t remember. But me creating this video series, not only can he hopefully learn from the lessons he can always look back on the first year of his life.

Here’s the first video I created where I explain all in more detail.

The Lessons So Far

I wanted to create this post highlighting some of the main lessons I’ve learnt so far.

I want to make it clear…

These lessons don’t just relate to being a Dad.

These are lessons you can implement into your life and lessons I’ll continue to implement into mine.

Ready?

1. The Importance of Friends & Family

How often do you take your family and friends for granted?

I know I have in the past.

When Teddie was born the support we got was incredible.

My Mum and Amy’s parents helped massively, my brother, our close friends…

Everyone was there to help when we needed it.

Without this support it would have made the first few days a lot more difficult than they were.

Choose your support group wisely, invest in them (give) and then when you need help they’ll give back.

2. Choose Your Partner Wisely

I couldn’t have handled the first few weeks without Amy.

She’s changed 90% of nappies, fed him 90% of the time and has already been an amazing Mum to him.

Sure that may make me sound lousy, but it’s only right to give credit when credit is due.

Make sure you’re always working on improving your relationship. Focusing on their needs and their fulfilment will in return fulfil you.

Sharing this experience with her will again make parenting easier, but it’s also going to be massively enjoyable.

Here’s another article on how to have a good relationship.

 3. Mentors/Role Models Are The Key To Success

I’ve spoke about this a few times, but the quickest way to achieving something is to find someone who’s already achieved it to mirror.

If you want to start a business, find someone who’s created a successful business doing something you want to do and get them to show you how.

Learn to surf? Find someone who’s got to the level and beyond what you want to achieve and get them to show you how.

Don’t try and figure everything out for yourself.

This lesson stemmed from Freddie’s attitude to his little brother.

He’s been caring, supportive, and throughout Teddie’s life he will be there as a role model.

He’s going to make our job of parents a lot easier, as he shows Teddie the way.

4. What To Do If You Hate Your Job

7 years ago I made a decision to leave my 9-5 job that I hated.

I started an online retailer called Brighterman.com

7 years later, I work the hours I want, I do it from home and most importantly I love my work.

This isn’t bullsh*t.

If I can do it (so can you).

This freedom is something you can’t trade and I’m extremely grateful for the work I do.

Seriously, if you hate your job do something about it.

No one will make it better for you, you need to act and make change.

5. The Art of Giving

Teddie got sent his first gift to try out.

I know, two weeks old and already getting freebies.

Luckily with my job I get sent a lot of free things to review and recommend.

Recently I’ve been pretty ungrateful for this.

The lesson I learnt was when you give you’ll always get.

In business if you give value over and over again you’ll always get business in return.

In a relationship if you give love you’ll always get love.

Stop focusing on what’s in it for you and focus on giving.

6. Prepare Yourself For Life Challenges

Throughout life you’re going to face challenges and adversity.

Some things you’ll face are out of your control but how you react to them is important.

I lost my keys on a small family trip and this sparked a panic.

You’ve probably been there before?

This small challenge (which I overcame) taught me to be prepared for any challenge in life (whether big or small).

Here’s how…

Follow #FIRSTYEARDAD

These 6 are a snapshot of some of the lessons I’ve currently shared.

All of the videos can be found here, and subscribing to the channel will allow you to get updated as soon as a new video goes live.

Some lessons are short, some are more detailed.

I hope to see you following as the year goes on?

Signing out…

Paul

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Relationships The Way You Feel

How To Improve Any Relationship

improve your relationship

Fulfilling relationships are a key element to happiness, but unfulfilling relationships can damage our emotions.

Whether it’s a relationship with a girlfriend, a wife, a friend, a business partner or even a partner in crime how do you improve a relationship?

With divorce at an all time high, friends consistently falling out and business partnerships breaking down is it time for you to look at improving your relationships?

Here’s how…

Can’t watch the video? Here’s a summary.

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Relationships The Way You Feel Your Thoughts

How To Stop Thinking About Someone

missing someone

Have you ever tried to stop thinking about someone but no matter hard you try to distract yourself you can’t shift those thoughts?

Maybe it’s someone you’ve just met…

A relationship that’s just broken down…

Or maybe it’s someone you’ve lost recently…

How can you stop thinking about and missing someone?

Key Takeaways From The Video

Can’t watch the video?

Here are a few key takeaways from what I talk about…

1. You Control Your Thoughts

I can’t stress this enough, you’re in complete control of your thoughts. If you’re missing someone and if you can’t shift away from thinking about them it’s up to you to control it. Of course it’s going to be hard but making a conscious choice to understand why you’re thinking about them and doing something about it is the first step to getting over them.

It’s time to feed your mind a different story…

If your thoughts consist of you trying to control them, what they think about you, their behaviour or what they’re doing it’s an impossible task. You don’t control them, you control you.

2. Find The Trigger

What’s causing you to miss them as much as you do? What’s the trigger behind you struggling to stop thinking about them? Normally we can’t shut down from thinking about someone because we’re driven by sadness, in a state of lack not having them where we want them. What was the reason behind that caused this sadness?

Once you realise the trigger it’s easier to shift away from the current thoughts and start shifting towards more positive thoughts. Maybe you feel that your life moving forward without them isn’t going to make you happy, but this is just a thought you’re telling yourself. If this is the trigger change those thoughts to the positives moving forward without them.

When I lost my Dad I couldn’t stop thinking about him. There isn’t a day that goes by now where I don’t but as soon as I shifted out of victim mode and changed the negative thoughts to a more positive story I started to reduce the amount of time I spent thinking about him. Find the trigger, take control of your thoughts and change from negativity to a more positive light.

3. Let Go Of The Past

The only thing that’s important is the present moment. You can’t control the past, you can only control the present moment. Focusing on the present moment and letting go of the past will help you get over the person you’re thinking about.

4. Focus On Your Happiness

We normally think about someone often when we’re feeling unhappy, therefore shifting away from the need of them making you happy to doing something consciously to make yourself happy will help. What do you enjoy? What makes you happy? Shift your attention to these things to generate your own fulfilment and you’ll start to shift your thoughts away from them.

Enjoy this video? Comment below, and don’t forget to subscribe the channel.

Signing out…

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