How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Do you often find yourself comparing your current situation with others?
Comparing your job to others…
Comparing your appearance with others…
Comparing the things you own to others…
One of the worst habits you can have is comparing yourself to others, but in this post I’m going to help you break that habit with a few simple mindset shifts.
But why is comparing yourself to others bad?
Comparisons have a damaging effect on your self worth. The comparisons we often make are unfair, simply because we compare areas we dislike the most about ourselves…
If you’re happy in your job, it’s unlikely you’ll compare your job status to others because this is a fulfilled area of your life.
But if your relationship with your partner sucks, you’ll probably create comparisons with other relationships.
Therefore you’ll never win… because the comparisons you make are areas you’re feeling unfulfilled in.
I recently spoke about focusing on ‘feeding your mind‘ with positivity and comparing yourself to others is a negative thought.
If you consistently feed your mind with comparisons you’re fuelling the negativity.
Making comparisons is a habit that needs to be broken because it can quickly start to snowball.
You might start by comparing your car next to the sports car parked next to yours, but that small comparison can easily trigger another…
You’ll compare the way you look to that guy benching 200kg at the gym…
You’ll compare yourself to the guy walking with the hot girlfriend because your single and play Call of Duty most nights…
You’ll compare yourself to the guy who gets more Instagram likes than you do…
Make sure you’re consciously aware of the smallest of comparisons before they snowball into more.
“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown
The revolution of social media makes it harder for us to not compare ourselves to others as well.
We browse through our Facebook news feeds finding out what all of our old school friends are up to and quickly create comparisons between what they’re doing and what we’re not.
Instagram allows people to apply filters making their selfies look more appealing, allowing us to create comparisons between how they look and how we do.
We now compare ourselves to others from the comfort of our own homes through social media.
But how do you break the habit?
1. You Control 1 Thing
Sounds too straight forward but logically it’s the biggest shift you can have.
You only have full control and responsibility of your actions and your thoughts. You can’t control anyone or anything else.
Removing the desire to control others is one of the best things you can do, and the simple shift of knowing that you can’t control anything but yourself is the simplest breakthrough you’ll have.
If someone has a sports car and you don’t, what can you do to control that situation?
Sure you could smash the sports car up, steal it and probably go to prison for a while…
But in reality the only thing YOU can do to control that situation is deal with the way you deal with that thought.
You’re in full control of the thoughts you have and the thoughts you emphasise, so instead of thinking “I wish I had a sports car like that, my car sucks and he probably has a hot girlfriend too” switch your way of thinking to something as simple as “Nice car” and move on.
It’s fine to appreciate what others have but know you could achieve exactly the same.
But no one can do it for you…
2. What Are You Grateful For
Gratitude is the best exercise you can do everyday.
What are you grateful for?
As I mentioned when we compare ourselves to others we typically compare the areas of our lives where we feel unfulfilled.
Creating comparisons puts you in a ‘lack’ mindset. Focusing on what you don’t have rather than the things you do have.
Think about the things you’re grateful for, write them down if you need too.
You can find gratitude in the smallest of things…
The water you drink, the clothing you wear, the heating you have.
Do you think someone who’s been stranded in a desert for a week with lack of water will compare themselves to you drinking fresh water from the tap?
Be grateful for all of the amazing things you do have, rather than the things you don’t (and others do)…
3. Mirror & Learn From Competition
Another way to help yourself refrain from comparing yourself to others is to simply flip your perspective.
If you saw someone who’s in better physical shape than you and you create the comparison don’t see it negatively…
This person, a human just like you with the same resources you could have has achieved something you’d want to achieve. Learn from it…
Take inspiration from the comparisons you make, and look to mirror them and achieve them for yourself.
If I see an Audi R8 I don’t start thinking about how my life sucks because I don’t drive one and this guy does…
I look at an Audi R8, I see the guy driving it and I use that to fuel my motivation.
Heck I’d even chat to the guy, offer to buy him a coffee and ask him questions about what he does and where he got the car from…
I always invest in myself, and I love working with people to mentor me.
If I want to get in shape, I’ll find the guy who’s in the best shape possible and pay them to tell me how to do it.
If I wanted to play guitar, I’d find a really good guitar player who plays the songs I wanted to play and pay him to show me how to do it.
I’ll never compare myself to them and fuel my negativity thinking I couldn’t achieve what they have.
Flip your perspective and use your comparisons to fuel your motivation.
4. Improve Your Self Worth
Making negative comparisons damages your self worth, but typically you’ll only make negative comparisons when your self worth is low in the first place.
Look to improve it by investing in yourself and focusing on your personal growth.
Another good way to improve your self worth is do something good for other people.
Buy someone a coffee, give someone shelter for the night, help a friend in need…
This again will help shift your perspective and put you in a state of gratitude.
Instead of feeling negative because you’re comparing your 2 bedroom house to your friends 5 bedroom, go and help someone who’s sleeping on the street. Pay for them to have shelter for the night and watch how your perspective changes…
When you have high self worth, you won’t want to trade places with anyone.
You’re happy with you, you’re happy with where you’re at and where you’re going.
Nothing can affect that…
5. Drop The Ego
Why do we want what something someone else has?
It’s typically to fuel our ego.
No one can compete with your uniqueness, no one can compete with you.
Drop the ego and stop worrying what other people think of you.
Just be who you want to be, follow your purpose and don’t be something you’re truly not.
Sure a sports car would be nice, but is the true reasoning behind buy a sports car to benefit your purpose or is it to fuel your ego and show off?
That’s short term fulfilment, which is often used to help mask the real emotional shit we have going on.
Don’t let the ego be in control of your wants…
So there we go, a few simple ways to stop the bad habit of comparing yourself to others.
Simple shifts that have a big impact if you practice them daily.
Let me know what you think in the comments below!