Last night I got pretty annoyed.
I was speaking to someone on a 1 on 1 ‘Breakthrough’ call and everything I suggested got shut down.
Excuses, moaning about other people and other things…
He was quick to shift blame.
It was hard to get him to understand one simple truth.
Something I wish I understood earlier…
You’re in charge.
It’s your responsibility to make change.
If you’re stuck in a dead end job… no one can change that but you.
Fed up with being overweight? No one can change that but you.
Tired of being single? No one can change that but you.
You’re in complete control of your thoughts and your life…
… and only you can make change.
We love to shift blame.
We love to moan about everything but it’s time to take responsibility.
The situation you’re in right now can only be made better by one person.
Taking responsibility is the most powerful thing you can do.
Don’t shy away from it.
The fact you’ve put on weight over the past few years has nothing to do with anyone or anything but you.
Your lack of confidence is again down to you to change.
It’s your choice to now take responsibility for it and move forward.
Then here’s how to start taking responsibility and making change today.
How To Take Responsibility
But how do you start taking responsibility?
The first step to taking more responsibility in your life is to simply admit it. Simply admit that the situation you’re in right now is down to you and only you can control it.
Denial and shifting blame is only going to keep you in a negative mindset, and it’s only going to keep you in the same situation.
Sure things may have happened out of your control which led to the situation you’re in…
But it’s now down to you to deal with it moving forward.
You may have put on weight due to health issues, something out of your control.
But what’s now stopping you from taking action and making change?
Nothing but your own self limiting beliefs, you can achieve it if you choose to.
With this outlook, with this mindset whatever gets thrown at you from here forward you know you’re in complete control of how you deal with it.
Any health issues, any career mistakes, relationship break ups… you control how you deal with it.
The first step is to admit that it’s up to you to make change.
Set Big Goals But Start Small
After admitting you need to make change, and after the realisation that only you control the outcome of your life it’s time to take action.
Set big goals, because big goals require more effort but start small… because you’re going to have to build new habits.
Think about the areas in your life which you want to make change.
Do you want to lose weight?
Find a new partner?
Be a better father?
Create a vision of how you want to be, and then start taking small steps to achieve it.
Your life is made up of daily habits and right now these habits make you who you are. It’s all about removing the negative habits which aren’t in alignment with the vision of who you want to be and replacing them with new, positive habits.
If you want to lose weight, start with just 10 minutes of high intensity training a day. Just 10 minutes.
Anyone can commit to just 10 minutes a day.
If you can’t, you’re not taking responsibility.
When you do this for 10 minutes a day, you’ll start to build up a new habit of exercising. This new habit then becomes easier, and you can start to increase the time spent on it or the intensity.
If you want to lose weight and decide to commit to 2 hour workouts every day it’s going to be a complete change from what you’re used too.
Sure it will help, but will you be consistent with it for the next 4 years?
We’re looking for sustainability, a lifestyle change and starting small is typically your best option.
Fed up with your current job and you can picture yourself working at home as your own boss?
Set a big goal, and start making small steps to achieve it. Spend evenings researching, setting up, networking with others…
Your new life has to start somewhere… and it should start today.
Make Yourself Accountable
As I’ve mentioned before making yourself accountable is going to aid your achievements.
Think about it…
If you set yourself a goal, and only you hold yourself responsible to achieve that goal will you succeed?
Now set yourself a goal, hold yourself responsible to achieve that goal but also make it public knowledge to people around you.
Publicly announcing it and having others hold you accountable will increase your motivation for achievement.
You could post a video on social media explaining the goal and when you’ll achieve it, you could tell your friends, family, have a bet with someone or put something in place to hold you to the goal.
Accountability really is key, and without it it becomes harder to achieve the goal.
Find Your Music
The late Wayne Dyer said this…
Are you in full alignment with your purpose?
Are you living a life you think you should be living?
The worst feeling any man can have is a feeling of ‘what if?’ When you come to the end of your life will you regret not taking action, regret not facing fear and regret not following your true purpose?
Listen to yourself.
What makes you feel excited, happy and fulfilled?
You’re now in full control to make that a reality.
When you’re on purpose you feel motivated, fulfilled, inspired and fear becomes almost non existent.
You know when you’re off purpose because your inner voice will remind you, making you feel frustrated and unfulfilled with your day to day life.
Listen to it and follow your dream.
I’ve just read this which pretty much sums up this post.
“When you give the credit or the blame to another for your success or lack of it – you are powerless to make any change”.
Don’t be someone who naturally assumes that if your life isn’t going the way it should be that something outside of you is the cause.
Don’t shift blame and don’t neglect responsibility.