So on a recent trip to Canterbury, Rob (the camera man) hit record as I recalled the 7 life lessons I’d give to my younger self.
Looking back at the young me, I had big dreams but I was held back by a big ego.
I worried what people thought of me, I lived a lifestyle to please others, I compared myself to others and found myself complaining when life wasn’t going the way I wanted it too.
With what I know now… what would I do different?
What lessons would I tell that ego-driven, worrying version of me?
Here’s the lessons broken down in text format.
1. Don’t Worry What People Think
Honestly, this is easily the BIGGEST mistake I made when I was younger.
I became very controlled by other peoples judgement of me, I constantly worried about embarrassing myself and from that worry I became very insecure.
I held back from creating content online because I worried what people would say.
I held back from wearing the clothing that I wanted to wear because I worried what people would say.
I held back from meeting or talking to new people because I worried what people would say.
When you’re controlled by the fear of judgement from others, it holds you back in almost every area of your life.
I’ve spoken about how I overcame the fear of judgement in articles before, but the thing was understanding that people really don’t judge you as much as you feel they do.
On average, we have 50,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day…
Do you really think you’re that important that someone is thinking about you or caring about what you did or didn’t do with all of those thoughts going on?
Honestly, people aren’t judging you as much as you feel like they are.
Everyone has their own insecurities, worries and fears to deal with. They’re not thinking about yours.
2. Be Present
Again this is something I’ve spoke about before in another article (read how to stay present here) but living in the now is powerful.
When we think about the past we can create sadness, guilt and even depression.
When we think about the future we can worry, get anxious and even fearful.
But when we live in the present, the now moment, the only time that truly matters you can decide how you feel.
We can’t control the past.
We can’t control the future.
We can only control the now moment.
Train yourself to stay present by constantly reminding yourself that the now moment is all that matters.
3. Change Your Perception, Change Your Life
“It’s cold” I said on video.
Just saying those words aloud and feeling the cold put me into a negative mindset.
But as soon as I change my perception, my perspective of the situation, my feelings changed.
Yes, I’m cold – but I could easily walk into a coffee shop to warm up.
Yes, I’m cold – but I’m wearing clothes.
Yes, I’m cold – but this video I’m creating is going to impact others.
Any situation you’re struggling to deal with, try and look at it with a different perspective.
Change your perception, change your life.
4. Don’t Live Above Your Means
When I started to make money I increased my expenses.
I bought a brand new car.
I rented a 5 bedroom house.
I went to high end restaurants.
I bought bespoke suits.
But even though I was making more money than I ever had done before, I was living above my means. I was spending (and wasting) more money than I was earning.
So many of us do this (especially men) as we look at materialistic items or a fancy lifestyle as a way to hide our insecurities. We think showcasing that we’re rich will make people like us and envy to be us…
But true wealth is silent.
I’d tell my younger self to invest money wisely, to never live above your means and to accept that life is more than just the items that you own.
5. Be Patient
I’ve always wanted things quick.
That 6 figure business.
Those 100,000 subscribers on YouTube.
But when we look for a quick fix we always go in with the wrong intentions.
Something I’ve been doing recently is accepting that things can take time. I focus on daily consistent action and know that if I’m patient… things will happen.
An example of this is raising awareness for mental health.
Sure, I want to impact over 100,000 people with my story and message but that’s not going to happen overnight.
I’ll work on it daily, sharing on different platforms and working towards that goal but applying patience in the process.
Whatever you want in life requires patience.
Whatever you want in life requires consistency.
6. Talk About Things
I’m just going to share a video for this one, a video where I explain how talking about how I felt helped me.
As a man we struggle to talk.
We see expressing our emotions as a weakness.
But talking about how I felt honestly saved my life.
7. Spend Time With Your Family
Finally, appreciate the people close to you.
I have so much to be grateful for.
We often forget how much our family mean to us, and it normally takes losing them to realise it.
But don’t let that be the case.
Everyday tell them how much they mean to you.
Spend as much time with them as you possibly can and know that life can change quickly.
What would you tell your younger self?
What lesson have I shared that hit home for you?
Let me know in the comments below!